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May 10, 2015 / ldejong4

Tree of Life

Baby,

It’s been so long since I have written to you. I don’t know what has kept me. I did write for you. I promise. I wrote scrawls and scribbles on loose paper and in diaries. I drew stars and hearts and perfect trees with flowers and I underlined the prettiest lines in books I have stacked next to my pillow. But nothing I have written has been good enough. Nothing I have thought of has been good enough and sometimes I feel like nothing will ever be good enough. Sometimes I feel I am not good enough. Not as a daughter. Not as a sister. Not as a woman. And so I sit here, with this dull ache in my core struggling to accept. The codeine from the pink box lets me float a little closer to the clouds and my toes dance. I need to file my nails but I’ll wait. Maybe I will grow them long and paint them like my mother’s. This evening I found a poem in a book I love and it’s for you. It’s for all babies. I will rewrite it here because it’s so beautiful. This is for all babies and for all mothers and for all people who love it like I do.

 

Tree of Life (Eavan Boland)

A tree on a moonless night

has no sap or colour.

 

It has no flower and no fruit.

 

It waits for the sun to find them.

 

I cannot find you

in this dark hour

dear child.

 

Wait

for dawn to make us clear to one another.

 

Let the sun

inch above the roof-tops,

 

Let love

be the light that shows again

 

the blossom to the root.

 

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6 Comments

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  1. Shane / May 11 2015 8:00 am

    Thanks for sharing, Lisa.

    That’s a beautiful poem that (a bit shamefully) I’m not sure I read before.

    On feelings of inadequacy, I can empathise. Most days, generally most mornings before I make it down the stairs, I feel like I’m letting everyone down.

    • ldejong4 / May 11 2015 8:03 am

      I never had either and I treated myself to one of her collections this weekend. I like her style very much. Ahhh – writers… we are sensitive souls 🙂 But thank God for all feelings, good and bad. They give us interesting stories to write about.

      • Shane / May 11 2015 8:44 am

        I just realised that my initial comment was hugely (and a bit unintentionally) depressive. Apologies.

        But a hearty yes to the “sensitive souls” bit…

      • ldejong4 / May 11 2015 8:50 am

        haha it’s cos we’re Irish! Enjoy the sun today.

  2. chicauniqua / May 28 2015 7:29 am

    Absolutely gorgeous poem Lisa. I’ve never come across it before. Maybe nothing reaches its full potential until the rays of sunlight catch it. I know part of me comes alive when the sun shows its face ☺ Missing you. Catch up essential! X

    • ldejong4 / Jun 5 2015 7:28 pm

      Thanks my dear! I treated myself to her collection. It’s a lovely book to have on my nightstand. Are you in Dublin still working? X

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